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We had this, um, "discussion" with a family member who said that homeschooling creates "social retards" (his words, not ours). And yes, evidently we could also then conclude that the public school produced such stellar interpersonal skills in _him_ that he felt that was an appropriate way to give us his (unsolicited) opinion.
*ahem* So anyway. :) I don't see how homeschooled kids could possibly NOT be socialized, unless they are being locked in a closet in solitary confinement. Most homeschool kids I know (including my own):
*have parents and siblings to interact (and sometimes struggle) with on a daily basis
*go with parents to the post office, grocery store, library, etc. where there are (*gasp*) people!
*have something besides school - sports teams, clubs, homeschool groups, Scouts, church, whatever - where there are (again, *gasp*) people
Someone on another blog put it this way, and I liked it: Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts. (http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html)
Off to the apple orchard....wonder if there will be any PEOPLE (*gasp* *grin*) there. ;)
*ahem* So anyway. :) I don't see how homeschooled kids could possibly NOT be socialized, unless they are being locked in a closet in solitary confinement. Most homeschool kids I know (including my own):
*have parents and siblings to interact (and sometimes struggle) with on a daily basis
*go with parents to the post office, grocery store, library, etc. where there are (*gasp*) people!
*have something besides school - sports teams, clubs, homeschool groups, Scouts, church, whatever - where there are (again, *gasp*) people
Someone on another blog put it this way, and I liked it: Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts. (http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html)
Off to the apple orchard....wonder if there will be any PEOPLE (*gasp* *grin*) there. ;)
My Daughter is involved in many different activities. Ballet, Girl Scouts, a kindergarten book club,a home schoolers gym class, along with our various play dates, and field trips. The number one argument against homeschooling I have been getting is "socilization". When in reality, she is getting more socilization now then she ever would going to a traditional school. She is exposed to people of all different backrounds and faiths, and they are allowed to talk about thier faith. Thats what I love!
We engage in our community, know our neighbors, they babysit, play sports, shop at the store, are in the orchestra, take part in youth plays and have fun with YW/YM at church.
With the exception of engaging with our community that list is the very same one the public school kids have. On the flip side many public schooled children do seem "locked away" when they get home with no time to play or engage with those around them. This is of course not including "texting" which they seem to do INSTEAD of spending time with people.
What my kids don't have is 8 hours a day of "parents are so stupid, they don't understand, they are so old fashioned." "Hey lets go try this...(insert some poor choice here) it will be so cool" or "all the kids are doing it." Socializing at its worst.
While I do have kids who like to be similar to their friends or to "fit" in, spending quality time with our family has allowed them to see what is really important, to know that they are special in a good way and to begin to embrace that instead of having their individuality beat out of them each day five days a week for 13 years.
My kids are social, have friends and enjoy their life what more do they need???
Nanci
With the exception of engaging with our community that list is the very same one the public school kids have. On the flip side many public schooled children do seem "locked away" when they get home with no time to play or engage with those around them. This is of course not including "texting" which they seem to do INSTEAD of spending time with people.
What my kids don't have is 8 hours a day of "parents are so stupid, they don't understand, they are so old fashioned." "Hey lets go try this...(insert some poor choice here) it will be so cool" or "all the kids are doing it." Socializing at its worst.
While I do have kids who like to be similar to their friends or to "fit" in, spending quality time with our family has allowed them to see what is really important, to know that they are special in a good way and to begin to embrace that instead of having their individuality beat out of them each day five days a week for 13 years.
My kids are social, have friends and enjoy their life what more do they need???
Nanci
It is a very small group of people who homeschool and do not socialize their children. But I guess there are some out there because everyone knows at least one....they say ;)
I was homeschooled until high school and a lot of people were shocked as to how well our family socialized with everyone of all different ages. We could carry on a conversations with adults just as much as we could talk to kids of any age. We were a close family, My mom put us in lots of sports, dance teams, we had great friends in our neighborhood, The church helps a lot also!
I plan on doing a lot of the same things my mom did with my own kids. Although my kids might be looked at as socially backwards (which they aren't they have lots of friends)I don't care. They are in a good place at home!!
I was homeschooled until high school and a lot of people were shocked as to how well our family socialized with everyone of all different ages. We could carry on a conversations with adults just as much as we could talk to kids of any age. We were a close family, My mom put us in lots of sports, dance teams, we had great friends in our neighborhood, The church helps a lot also!
I plan on doing a lot of the same things my mom did with my own kids. Although my kids might be looked at as socially backwards (which they aren't they have lots of friends)I don't care. They are in a good place at home!!
We have the crazy busiest schedule of "socializing" you could imagine. My husband was a homeschool skeptic, and insisted that our daughter be exposed to other kids DAILY. So, Mondays are soccer practice. Tuesdays are a combined science class. Wednesday is another soccer practice. Thursday is 3 hours of co-op classes with a soccer game in the evening. Friday is park day. Saturday is another soccer game. Throw in there a monthly 4-H meeting, twice a month Girl Scouts, field trips, occasional activities for 2 homeschool groups and play dates and you have one incredibly over socialized 6 year old!
In our semi-unique circumstance, with three children in public school and three children being homeschooled, I've noticed some big differences in their "Socialization" skills.
First, my homeschoolers can and do play and appropriately socialize with others of varying ages without concern. They are both respectful of grown-ups and helpful in entertaining small children. My PSers are NOT. They balk at authority and belittle those even one year younger than they are. They have trouble interacting with anyone new and outside their age group.
Second, my HmSers are able to find their own entertainment and are content to let others be themselves. My PSers always need someone to entertain THEM and always try to make themselves feel important by squashing everyone around them.
Third, when my PSers come home from school or from a friends house they are either mean or defeated. My HmSers come back from an activity or a friends house energized and excited for the next time.
There are many more "Social" differences I've noticed, but the best one I've heard is when my HmSers Primary teachers come to me and say "Your son/daughter is alway the best one in my class. They are consistently reverent, respectful, attentive, calm, and kind. To which I reply, "Hooray for Homeschooling!"
First, my homeschoolers can and do play and appropriately socialize with others of varying ages without concern. They are both respectful of grown-ups and helpful in entertaining small children. My PSers are NOT. They balk at authority and belittle those even one year younger than they are. They have trouble interacting with anyone new and outside their age group.
Second, my HmSers are able to find their own entertainment and are content to let others be themselves. My PSers always need someone to entertain THEM and always try to make themselves feel important by squashing everyone around them.
Third, when my PSers come home from school or from a friends house they are either mean or defeated. My HmSers come back from an activity or a friends house energized and excited for the next time.
There are many more "Social" differences I've noticed, but the best one I've heard is when my HmSers Primary teachers come to me and say "Your son/daughter is alway the best one in my class. They are consistently reverent, respectful, attentive, calm, and kind. To which I reply, "Hooray for Homeschooling!"
I still can't figure out why this is such a huge issue. I have a few things to say about it. One, if anything going to public school myself, I strongly feel that it was public school that took a very naturally social child (me) and taught me how to not be social anymore. I learned to keep quiet and stand in the back! Two, being a mother I have found that children are born with tendencies to be naturally social or not. My oldest used to spit at strangers when they came up to her by the time she was four months old! My second child is a total social butterfly and when we take walks as a family she will stop and talk to ANYONE AND EVERYONE! I have taken it as my job to direct each of their social styles. I have taught my first child that it is not okay to spit and scream when someone tries to talk to her. I have taught my second about being cautious when talking to strangers. I think that the family is the best place for children to learn social skills. They have to learn manners and sharing and helping and kindness and patience and a million other things just being in a family. It is the parent's place to teach their children proper social skills. We have six people in our own family that my children learn social skills with and both my husband and I have large families that our children socialize with weekly. There is also church and the neighborhood and taking them to stores and parks and the library and to the ice cream parlor. Everyday they come across situations that help teach them social skills. I just don't worry about it and I tend to roll my eyes when I get "what about socialization?!?" from people when they learn we home school.
My children have their siblings, church activities and extended family activities, park days, gymnastics/dance and are doing just fine!! They can have one extra curricular activity that requires $$ or time away from home. To me, we homeschool to be together not to ship them off and have nothing to do with them still. I don't believe in OVER SCHEDULING my children {or myself,for that matter} whether they are homeschooled or not. I also don't believe that the 'main' focus of brick and mortar school is "SOCIALIZATION" - isn't it supposed to be their education? I think it is ironic that socialization is the part that everyone 'not' doing home school is so concerned with.
Let's remember that public school is an engineered environment. It is meant to try to replicate the natural one. There are clubs, sports, classes, etc.... all in an attempt to give students a varied range of experiences. Homeschooled children who are regularly out in the community are spending their time in the environment public school is trying to imitate. Yes, "everyone" has known or heard of a completely backward homeschooler. Most of them are the byproduct from a time 20+ years ago when homeschooling was illegal, a time when putting your homeschooled child in the community could mean going to jail. Today homeschooled children spend their whole school lives involved in various ways in their communities. It's a not a great surprise that they do well in work and college as adults-- they've had years and years more experience in that environment than their public schooled counterparts.
I have the most happy, normal, totally socialized kids around. They speak resectfully to others, they have great manners and they are kind to younger kids. We've even had our dinner tab paid for us on multiple occasions because people have been so impressed with my childrens' behavior. They never want for neighborhood playmates because they can play with children of all ages and have a great time.
Other than socializing in our family of seven, they attend Cub Scouts, swimming, gymnastics, soccer, library storytime, playgroup with friends from church and our LDS homeschool group. We just have to be careful not to make our schedule too full.
I am so grateful that my kids don't have to worry about bullies, bad language and media, peer pressure, forced values education at school and friends that are trying to grow-up way too fast. My kids are enjoying a wonderful, long childhood because we homeschool.
Other than socializing in our family of seven, they attend Cub Scouts, swimming, gymnastics, soccer, library storytime, playgroup with friends from church and our LDS homeschool group. We just have to be careful not to make our schedule too full.
I am so grateful that my kids don't have to worry about bullies, bad language and media, peer pressure, forced values education at school and friends that are trying to grow-up way too fast. My kids are enjoying a wonderful, long childhood because we homeschool.
My family was less than supportive of my decision to homeschool, and much of that had to do with the stereotypical misunderstanding of how a homeschooling family functions. Every mom I know doesn't sit in her jammies all day, we don't live in squalor afraid of society, and we aren't paranoid. They were afraid my children would be missing out on "opportunities within the public school." Which are what? Depression? Drug use? Sex? Bullies?
Instead of hearing about a rotten kid on the bus that I don't want influencing my children, I get to decide which family we will meet with at the park for lunch. Instead of them having unstructured playtime with in a fenced area of other kids who come from questionable situations, I get to involve them in my choice of activities within our community.
I never understood how an adult came to the conclusion that children turn out best when they are exposed to countless other children. Afterall, it is our responsibility to prepare them to be successful adults in society independently of their parents, and they learn that best by other adults.
Instead of hearing about a rotten kid on the bus that I don't want influencing my children, I get to decide which family we will meet with at the park for lunch. Instead of them having unstructured playtime with in a fenced area of other kids who come from questionable situations, I get to involve them in my choice of activities within our community.
I never understood how an adult came to the conclusion that children turn out best when they are exposed to countless other children. Afterall, it is our responsibility to prepare them to be successful adults in society independently of their parents, and they learn that best by other adults.
We're not hurting,either, for socialization. Early morning seminary during the school year, YM, Scouts, Church, Stake dances, Scout campouts,Facebook, Blogs, Texting friends, weekly Homeschool group meetings, games with siblings....
I think people with inept social skills would have been inept regardless of their type of education. I went to PS and was a target for social bullies. Who needs that? It made me quiet, fearful, mistrustful, withdrawn, anxious....but now I like to think I am more socially well adjusted. *;-.)
I think people with inept social skills would have been inept regardless of their type of education. I went to PS and was a target for social bullies. Who needs that? It made me quiet, fearful, mistrustful, withdrawn, anxious....but now I like to think I am more socially well adjusted. *;-.)
I'm three months into official homeschooling and have to say that socialization hasn't necessarily been a concern for me. Like so many others of you, the effects of socialization in public school seem to me what everyone would want to avoid.
Just this weekend, I heard a veteran homeschooling mom say, in relation to this topic: "In my experience, children tend to turn out like their parents. So you might want to start asking your friends if they think you are weird." I think this is my new comeback! :)
Just this weekend, I heard a veteran homeschooling mom say, in relation to this topic: "In my experience, children tend to turn out like their parents. So you might want to start asking your friends if they think you are weird." I think this is my new comeback! :)
